


Heavy the boulder, resting on the blade

by songbrd



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Body Worship, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Time Skip, i have not played fe3h i just love dimitri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-11-01 01:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songbrd/pseuds/songbrd
Summary: ‘in the cracks of our skin, there’s a memory of a dove’ (atoll - nai palm)/“Just relax. Sleep, if it comes to you. I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well.”Dimitri smiled, dimples reappearing, simple thrill rising in Byleth’s chest at the sight, “Well, I always sleep better by your side.”





	Heavy the boulder, resting on the blade

He was late, he knew. The weather couldn’t have been helped, though, and honestly Byleth was surprised he made it at all before the torrential summer rains made the roads impassable. But even that wouldn’t have made much difference. He was imbued with a goddess. And Dimitri was waiting for him.

He wasn’t about to keep his king waiting.

Insides settled somewhere between apprehension and anticipation, Byleth crossed the threshold into the throne hall. But Dimitri did not sit upon that throne of cold stone. In fact, there was scarcely anyone in the hall except for the knights that would watch over the night.

He didn’t waste any time looking. Dimitri wouldn’t be here.

Byleth all but flew to the king’s quarters, the pat-patting of his feet echoing in the stone corridors. It mattered not. When he reached the large wooden door that marked his destination, the pair of guards there smiled and nodded to acknowledge him, then saw themselves to the end of the hallway. Byleth was grateful for the privacy. Every time he saw Dimitri, it felt both like mere seconds and entire lifetimes had passed. Every moment they spent apart was crucial, necessary, but Byleth would be foolish to deny that he, too, experienced the empty pain that came with waking up alone each morning. He knew it affected Dimitri even moreso.

He fished a key from his travel pack and slipped it into the door as quietly as he could manage, hoping to avoid waking his king, on the off chance he was sleeping.

Much to Byleth’s pleasant surprise, Dimitri was asleep.

He was vast and broad now, but his posture amongst the blankets reflected the boyish self Byleth had once taught. One hand clasped the sheet close to him, the other laid out, nearly reaching off the bed. One foot stuck out from the bottom of the blankets and Byleth didn’t suppress his smile. Dimitri always did manage to untuck the blankets from every corner of the bed at night, likely to his housekeeper’s chagrin.

Byleth watched him stir for a moment, then settle. He decided to enter the room fully to let the guards outside relax once more, and also so he could lose the pack he’d been carrying for the majority of the day. His legs ached, but that could be dealt with later. Byleth set his belongings next to the door and approached the mound of man and blanket, pausing for a moment to watch his king sleep.

Dimitri’s face was screwed up in concern, his fists mirroring the tension, clenched where they should’ve been loose with sleep. Byleth could see where his teeth were clenched, the line of his jaw taut. He wanted to reach out and touch him, slide his fingers over the sharp jut of his king’s jaw until the rigidity there melted away, until the creases between his king’s brows faded back into his skin. But he didn’t want to wake him either. If only he could enter whatever terrible dream it was, hold his hand, and tell him everything would be okay. That he was here now.

With a gasp, Dimitri’s eye shot open. He dragged in a breath as if it were difficult, as if he hadn’t breathed clean air in years. Tears pricked at both his eyes, spilling freely from the scarred socket. Byleth could see him trying to ward them off, blinking desperately with his one functional eyelid. This got Byleth to reach out without thinking, aiming to clear the drops with his thumb. Dimitri gripped his wrist tightly before he could get close. Byleth watched his king’s face turn from exhaustion and sorrow to shock in a second, then warm into familiarity as their eyes met.

“Byleth.”

“It’s me.”

“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, with the weather being as dangerous as it was.”

“It was just a bit of rain.”

Dimitri looked at him quizzically, eyes dragging from his still-damp hair to his barely dry outer coat. Byleth only stared back, admitting nothing.

“Hm. I’ll have a bath prepared at once,” he commented.

Byleth didn’t have any argument against that.

  


The bath was hot, scalding even, but it soothed his sore legs as he dipped into the tub with a hiss. It seemed to sap his entire body of energy, the heat encompassing him like a blanket, lulling him to rest.

“Here, let me help you,” Dimitri’s voice sounded behind him, quietly breaking the stillness of the dim room.

“No need. You can go back to sleep. I won’t be long.” Byleth said this but slipped his body further into the water, eyes closed as he settled with his chin breaking the surface.

He heard something between a chuckle and a sigh from the man behind him. “I would much rather return to bed with you at my side.”

Byleth blinked.

“Besides, I want to do this.” As he spoke, water poured gently over his head to wet his hair, followed by the lathering of shampoo. Dimitri’s hands moved carefully and deliberately, rubbing the soap into his scalp and pulling at his hair so it would reach the ends.

“Your hair’s gotten longer.”

“Mhm..” Byleth could barely muster a coherent sound in response, too busy focusing on the strong fingers that massaged his head in a steady rhythm. Byleth tried not to let his mind stray to anything too dark from their shared past. The things he’d seen this man do...well, for them, it mattered not. Not anymore. His confidence in Dimitri was absolute. Those hands instilled no fear in him anymore.

After soaking for a good while in the bath and being pampered from head to toe, Byleth sat on a stool, allowing Dimitri to rub a towel over his body.

Though he was exhausted from his travels and relaxed, mind pleasantly blank, he didn’t feel particularly drowsy. He loved this. He loved when Dimitri did this. It made him feel like a child again, to lean into a touch he unequivocally trusted. Amazing, how some tenderness from his king left him feeling like all the responsibilities of the world no longer rested on his shoulders alone. The pressure and worry would return, but for now, it was only them. No diplomats, no paperwork, no vast crowds, no mercenaries armed to the teeth. Just blissful silence and the soft pat of a towel on his skin.

Dimitri’s arms tucked under his knees, and before Byleth managed to protest, he lifted him like a delicate bride and carried him to the bed. Byleth couldn’t entirely hold back the small squeak at the sudden movement, but managed to keep it in his throat. Dimitri just smiled. A real smile, all the way to his eyes. Byleth could see the shadows of his dimples. _ He’s really so beautiful. _

They settled into bed with little fanfare. Dimitri drug a hand across his waist, just to feel him, and Byleth propped his head up higher on his pillow, to watch the man. Dimitri seemed...he seemed lighter now. His face was slack, a lack of tension visible even with only bare moonlight slipping in from where the curtains didn’t get pulled all the way across the window. His eyelashes, light in color and yet thick just like the rest of his hair, appeared soft. Byleth thought briefly about running his thumb across them just to see for himself before reminding himself that they were supposed to be sleeping. But all of a sudden he felt that, even though now they were in bed, wrapped in thick blankets and warmer for the two bodies that lie there, he wasn’t tired in the slightest. He watched Dimitri breathe, lightly at first, and then deeper as he sank into sleep. Byleth couldn’t help but marvel at it, at the way the hand on his waist remained, growing heavier as he relaxed but never pulling away. It was as if Dimitri had discovered the curve of Byleth’s body fit his hand perfectly. It was as if the universe intended for them to fit that way.

Byleth’s eyes lingered everywhere, from his lips to the soft fuzz of baby hairs by his ears to the jut of his adam’s apple, drinking in the sight of his king as if he were parched. In a way, he was. They spent months apart at times. And in each instance they reunited, it felt like life was breathed back into him. Maybe that’s why Byleth laid awake, his entire body, despite its physical exhaustion, wholly and completely _ aware _. Aware of each twitch of Dimitri’s fingers, of every heavy breath, of the smell of the soap they now shared, of the tiny freckle that sat upon his collarbone, something impossible for anyone else to have the pleasure of seeing. A visual treat saved just for Byleth.

Dimitri’s one unmarred crystal blue eye cracked open, regarding Byleth for a moment before a sleepy groan escaped from his lips.

“Byleth. Surely you’re tired?”

“I am tired. And I’m also not. It’s strange.”

Byleth’s own gaze remained locked with Dimitri’s for a few breaths. Neither of them looked away or blinked, suspended in the moment that followed their whispers.

“Well, is it something you want to talk about?”

Byleth regarded his king’s expression, but it betrayed nothing of concern - just unabashed warmth.

“Your hair, it’s getting darker the older you become. It looks nice, almost golden now where before it was so light. It’s very regal, quite fitting of a king,” Byleth began. Dimitri blinked in surprise, mouth parting, but no words followed. Byleth’s eyes followed the motion.

“Your lips are also quite soft, but when you have to be in command, I doubt many could notice such a thing. I want to say it’s a pity, but I also feel rather happy to guard this knowledge for myself.”

“Byleth…”

“Your hands, they’re large, much larger than mine, but you always touch me gently. I know you worry about them, but the way I see it, their strength shows how hard you’ve worked. Every callous is indicative of your dedication. They’re nice to hold.”

Dimitri was holding his breath now, Byleth noticed.

“Your breath, it comforts me in its heaviness as you sleep. When you speak, it strikes me each time, how low your voice has gotten. As a boy, it was sweet, but now I just want to touch your throat, to feel it rumble.”

Dimitri had taken to caressing Byleth’s hands during his speech, the breath he was holding released slowly, unsteady.

“Your scars…” Byleth began, running a thumb over one on the back of Dimitri’s hand, “I don’t want to call them beautiful because they mean you’ve been hurt. But when I see them, when I touch them, I just think about how _ alive _ you are. So now I think… I think they just fill me with gratitude. I am grateful you’re alive, breathing, smiling. I’m grateful to your skin for regrowing, healing.

“And your heart...it beats. I can see it, feel it in your pulse. I can hear it. It makes me think how…if I had a heart of my own, mine might sound like that.”

At this, Dimitri shuddered, gripping Byleth’s hands in his, enveloping them entirely, one eye desperately searching Byleth’s own blank stare. 

“You excite me, to put it simply. My body and my face are bad at showing it, so I have to let you know somehow,” Byleth sucked in a breath, steady as ever, but he felt like his nerves were on fire. This dry, rote recount of his king’s beauty didn’t do him justice, but Byleth’s feelings never were easy to convey. He had to trust Dimitri to understand.

“If my heart could beat, right now, I think it would sound like thunder.”

Dimitri’s eye screwed shut for a moment before he let go of his hands to pull Byleth’s body close, pressing an ear to his chest.

“Dimitri, there’s nothing there.”

“No,” his voice tore slightly, “I can hear it.”

Byleth didn’t know how to respond to that.

Dimitri pulled away slowly, reluctant. He looked like he was thinking, processing. Byleth let him.

“You have no idea how much joy it brings me to hear you say this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you,” Dimitri spoke clearly, his emotions reflecting visibly in one glassy eye.

“I said nothing that warranted a thank you. I was simply observing you.”

“Ah,” Dimitri tucked Byleth’s head into the crook of his neck so that Byleth’s ear was nearly pressed to his throat, holding him warmly, “But it is difficult...for me to see myself that way. Thank you for sharing your observations.”

Emboldened by the sensation of Dimitri’s rumbling voice against his ear, Byleth laid an open kiss to his adam’s apple.

“_Byleth - _” Dimitri’s voice somehow sounded deeper.

“Hmm…” Byleth hummed against his throat.

Dimitri ran his hands up from Byleth’s lower back to the base of his skull, along the outline of his shoulders and down his arms, lingering on his fingertips.

“I’d love nothing more than to indulge you tonight, but -”

“No need. Allow me.” Byleth leaned over Dimitri, squaring his hands on either side of his king’s head, looking down at him, expression blank as ever. Dimitri’s eye flew wide open and his face heated as he made a quizzical sound.

“Just relax. Sleep, if it comes to you. I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well.”

Dimitri smiled, dimples reappearing, simple thrill rising in Byleth’s chest at the sight, “Well, I always sleep better by your side.”

Byleth smiled back, trying to talk with his eyes. Some things were hard to say properly. No words did the complex emotions trapped in his chest justice, so he just let them sit there, filling him up with desire. It was nothing carnal - rather a deep sense of appreciation, of awe, wonderment, and gratitude for the sheer luck of his position, both physically in the moment, and emotionally. He was so lucky to hold the seat he did in Dimitri’s heart.

_ Relax. _

_ Let me do everything. _

_ Let me show you how I feel. _

Dimitri nodded, breathing out his assent, and settled his head back on the pillows more heavily.

Byleth began to explore. He dragged the edges of his fingernails across the skin of Dimitri’s arms, skating over various scars. He watched in wonderment as the skin pebbled and hair rose in response.

He had known this man for so long, had seen him in hell, and had helped him to come back. He wanted to show him that everything he said was true. That every inch of his skin, of his heart, his soul, was truly beautiful and worthy of his attention. He wanted to worship him, surrender to him, dominate him. He wanted to take all of those fuzzy feelings in his stomach and the ache in his chest and translate them into some tangible language.

Byleth brought his hands to Dimitri’s hair, carding through it, and lifted the man’s head slightly to release the hair trapped underneath. Dimitri watched him silently, drinking in the sight of Byleth’s total focus.

Byleth was perched half on Dimitri’s chest, half draped over his shoulder. He moved down from the soft blonde locks and smiled fondly before leaning over, closing his eyes, and placing a feather-light kiss to the empty eye socket marred by the scar on the left side of Dimitri’s face. He heard the man’s breath catch and release, shaking. Not wanting to neglect any one bit of him, Byleth continues to bestow a kiss upon the right eye, feeling those soft eyelashes flutter shut against his lower lip. He hummed at the reminder and leaned back again to feel the lashes with the thumb of his right hand, entranced by the gentle texture.

He leaned down once again to press a chaste kiss to Dimitri’s lips before moving, lifting the man’s shirt from where it rested against his stomach and hips.

“Can I take this off?”

Laughter bubbled up from Dimitri’s chest and he sighed, eyes still blissfully shut, “You can do anything you’d like.”

Byleth chose not to comment, though he pursed his lips to hide a grin.

“In that case, I have another request,” Byleth said as he pulled the shirt over the man’s head.

“Anything.”

“Keep your eyes closed.”

Dimitri’s body stilled for a moment and tensed, though not out of fear or apprehension, Byleth knew. He was confused, but trusted Byleth enough to nod and close his eyes more firmly.

“You don’t need to close them so tightly. You can relax. It’s just that I want...rather I hope that you can feel. How I feel.”

Dimitri visibly tried to relax. Byleth smiled, then repositioned himself to straddle his thighs before he picked up where he had left off. He gripped Dimitri’s hips gently, massaging circles into the soft flesh there for a minute before moving higher, tracing lines with his fingernails up and down the centerline of Dimitri’s body. He was so beautiful, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath, hitching visibly when Byleth ghosted his breath over the tender skin of his stomach. He nuzzled him there where the skin was so soft below his belly button, hands reaching out to feel the muscles of his abdomen, the expanse of his chest, the sharpness of his collarbones, rubbing into each bit of his skin with his thumbs. He pressed gentle kisses to Dimitri’s sides, humming against his ribs before finding the freckle on his collarbone and sucking lightly.

It was such a strange sensation, to taste him like this, no motivation other than to simply experience the flavor and texture of his skin against his tongue and teeth.

“Ah…” Dimitri breathed out, those hands of his finding Byleth’s head, tucking his loose hair behind his ears, gripping his skull lightly.

Byleth continued undeterred, pressing gentle kisses from the underside of his chin, to the corner of his jaw, to the soft spot behind his ear. He sucked on his earlobe for a moment, then licked upwards around the curve of his ear, before blowing cold air over the wet skin. Dimitri’s whole body shuddered, skin coming alive with goosebumps at the sensation. Byleth smiled into the crook of his neck, and when he sat back up, he saw Dimitri was smiling too. He kissed both of his dimples, which only made Dimitri grin wider.

He returned to his light scratching, following the movement of his nails with his mouth, ghosting his lips across Dimitri’s arms, down to his hands. He traced each tendon and knuckle with his nails, lifting one finger after the next, pressing kisses to the pads of his fingers before licking the undersides. Dimitri’s hand flexed for a moment in surprise, but Byleth was patient. He waited for his king to relax once more before lifting the hand to take each finger into his mouth individually, starting with the index finger, then middle, ring, pinky, and thumb. When he finished, he pressed a kiss into the rough center of the hand and mirrored his motions on the other arm and hand.

He felt Dimitri sink ever so slowly into the bed under his ministrations, breaths becoming deeper, all indicative of sleep. For some odd reason, it filled him with a joy he had yet to experience in his entire life. Byleth actually had to sit up completely for a moment, had to pull his hair back away from his face and look down at his handiwork. Dimitri slept lightly, but sweetly, knowing that Byleth would still touch him. There was a sensation in Byleth’s chest, and in that moment the unequivocal trust his king had always placed in him, the same trust now as ever, made Byleth feel like flying. Made Byleth feel like whatever resided within his ribcage, heart or not, would simply leap from his body and abandon him for heaven. He held his face in his hands and tried to breathe as steadily as possible so he didn’t wake Dimitri, so he didn’t soil the way his inner feelings were surfacing so forcefully that he couldn’t control them a second longer. 

But he was barely halfway done.

He carefully removed himself from Dimitri’s thighs and crawled to the edge of the bed. He felt Dimitri stir and silently cursed, but the man didn’t move. Byleth chanced a glance towards his king’s face, but he still appeared to be on the edge of sleep. So, Byleth reached out, lightly tracing his thighs, knees, calves, down to his feet. He proceeded to give them the same treatment as he’d given Dimitri’s arms, but when his nail scraped over the inside of Dimitri’s left knee, the man jolted awake and reached down to grab Byleth’s hand to stop him, instantly breaking into rumbling laughter when he saw the situation. Byleth was dumbfounded, tilting his head in question.

Dimitri squeezed his hand before letting go, closing his eyes again and lying back down with an exhale.

“I’m ticklish there,” he whispered like it was a secret Byleth needed to keep.

“Ticklish?” Byleth pressed his mouth there instead. Dimitri let out a breathy laugh again, still sounding heavy from sleep.

“Are you teasing me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Byleth said this, but watched Dimitri’s expression, eyes lingering on the curve of his mouth. This easy smile of his, unguarded and open, was so beautiful. It was breathtaking. _ He _ was breathtaking. Byleth made quick work of climbing back up Dimitri’s figure, resting his entire body against his king’s and sealing his lips over those curved ones that were driving him crazy.

It was so easy to fall into him like this, to open his mouth with no words, silent pleading in the form of a wet tongue at his lips only. It was so good to taste his hot mouth, hear his labored breathing, smell the soap on his skin, feel their rhythm match each other perfectly.

When Byleth pulled away to breathe, he kept his eyes closed for an extra second, savoring everything. When he opened them, he saw Dimitri staring back at him.

“You opened your eyes,” he said, barely audible.

Dimitri surged forward, pulled Byleth into his arms, then tucked them both under the blanket they’d discarded before. He wrapped Byleth up his arms, holding him so close, kissing his forehead before pulling back to search Byleth’s gaze through sleepy eyes.

“I can’t not look at you.”

Byleth smiled at that, feeling his own consciousness slipping.

“I know the feeling.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have not played fe3h because i am not a switch haver but im the physical incarnation of that *you are not immune to dimitri* post. shoutout to sumi for being my eternal cheerleader i love you so fucking much  
if you want to find me on twitter im @/reinibee !


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